Some poetry

Dear Friends,

How are you? You’ve come to the page. So have I, ready to etch out something true, something real, and something perhaps you could use???  Or perhaps, just catch up on the news with us? 

I am going to share with you a poem I’ve written. I hope you enjoy.  Sometimes poems turn into songs, sometimes they don’t. It’s all part of the process. 

We’ve been playing many shows which is wonderful but leaves us pretty exhausted.  Funny and strange to feel yourself get older.  Playing is physically demanding and can be emotionally and socially draining.  Did I say that out loud?  Did I break your heart saying that?  Ha!  It’s not all glamorous, but it DOES suit us, and we DO love it…so don’t panic.  It’s why you’ve come to this page, you obviously want to know.  ☺ 

I wrote this last year: 

“Off the Ledge”  by Niccole Blaze

I’ve been kicked off my ledges and learned to fly

I’ve learned to lean in, instead of roll over and die

I’ve had my heart broken a time or two

I’ve probably broken other hearts, with limitations I drew

I’ve not only been kicked, I’ve leapt on my own

Willfully falling, calling my own heart back home.

There is a sacred pause, before the fall

A reminiscing - looking back on it all. 

The things you would have done differently

Have you known how it went

The life you could have lived

Or the time that you would have spent

I’m not a believer in wasted time

All that progresses is somehow divine.

So push me, kick me or perhaps I’ll step off

After weighing the gain or weighing the cost. 

I know I can fly

All on my own

I can circle like the hawk

And call my own heart back home. 

Be well sweet people, and thanks for all your love and support! 

Niccole & Mo

“Spring unlocks the flowers to paint the laughing soil.”

Hello Everyone! It’s Mo Kelly! Niccole asked me to write this blog for you and I am delighted to do so! Hope you like this Mo Journey! We’ve missed you!

Happy Spring to each and every one of you, and may the sunshine on your faces fill your hearts with the love and possibilities that unfold with these longer days and incredible sunsets! It has been quite a month! We hope that you’ve had some wonderful times, visits with people you love, doing what you’re passionate about, and creating more beautiful memories for yourselves. Life is so precious!

Sometimes it feels like things move so fast that you don’t really get to fully envelop or savor the moment…..Living as presently as possible seems like the best way we can integrate the loving memories and experiences that we DO have and help keep us whole. People we love have a line on us, live in our hearts tenderly as we go about our day, and we smile every time we think about them. Our hearts beat strong because we know how much we’re loved. Their hearts beat strong because they know how much they’re loved.

Our hearts expand every time we think of someone with love. What a gift to be able to call upon a beautiful, tender, or even fragile moment, knowing that we both draw strength, faith and courage every time we revisit that memory. Thank you for all the beautiful memories you’ve added with your loving support and enthusiasm on this musical magic carpet ride! We simply could not do this without you! Gratitude to each and every one of you a million fold!

We wanted to thank you for tuning into the live production at the Sapphire Room here in Boise on March 5th! What a fantastic night with Meghan Kelly Watters on drums and Debbie Sager on percussion and vocals. They were the icing on the cake and we felt so blessed they were able to join us to entertain all of you! We worked hard on rehearsals and Niccole chose a fantastic set list that featured her rockin’ electric guitar solos. So proud of her incredible tenacity on that guitar! She owns it and it’s really great to see her shine!

We had a delightful and long over-due visit from our dear friend, Mel Wade and her wife, Liz Munn. Mel is a fantastic musician in and of her own right! They had fraternal twins last September and we finally got to meet precious Oliver and Addison at our home early this month. What a couple of adorable bambinos! Niccole definitely had a kindred connection with Addison. Oliver never stopped dancing in all our arms!! We loved peering into their beautiful eyes, full of hope, light, and everything new to experience! Mel and Liz make parenting look so easy! I thoughtfully cut up their meat at dinner so they could hold their lovelies and still get nourished LOL! We absolutely love them and are so blessed to be the boys Aunties! We’re so grateful to bear witness to their journey as they grow up and become the best of who they are in this world because of the guidance and love Mel and Liz give them. We are also hoping to be a shining example of love and light for them. None of us should ever feel alone in this journey. We all need each other.

We took a trip with a few friends March 10th-16th to play at Grand Targhee Ski Resort in Wyoming. I reach out to that venue in July the previous year to get a booking in March next year. We’ve done this for the past 10 years. It doesn’t feel very glamorous to be dragging all your equipment up 3 flights of stairs at 9,000 feet elevation. Thankfully we had help! And it’s really worth it in the scheme of things. Once you’re all set up and put your instrument around your neck, the magic happens!

Friday’s 3 hour set was amazing! Everyone was pinging off the walls! There was a group of about eight, 30 something year old beauties that were dancing all night! Turns out they were resident doctors from Detroit, Michigan. They were singing along, loving one another, doing hand stands in their ski boots, chanting “let’s get drunk!” They were clearly the entertainment for the night, though we rocked the sets with all we had! The tip jar was more abundant than the pay for the gig that night! What a blessing! Love the Universe! There was an exceptional period of time all along that felt expansive. It’s like time stopped for a while and we could just bask in the glory of every blessed moment! It was a first time experience to see Wyoming for all of our friends on this trip. Nicc was an incredible hostess and tour guide having spent much time in the Teton National Forest since she was 12. This is what we experienced.

We drove over the Teton Pass (10,000 ft elevation) with all of us in Nicc’s car; B&K tour van! We all bought cowboy hats, we tooled around town taking pictures under the antelope arches in town square, straddling the saddles over a shot at the infamous Cowboy Bar, visiting new posh hotels, took in all the outdoor sports shops, visited the incredible Mangelsen gallery, had some amazing Mexican food and jalapeno margaritas at Mary Piglets, hiked a bit in the Teton National Park, and took in the incredible views of the Teton mountain range from Dornan’s at Moose Junction. The time we had was restorative and relaxing. No agenda, no place we needed to be (after the shows), just feeling joy and light-heartedness with dear friends. While this was a working vacation, we definitely felt the LOVE from everybody! So blessed to experience this quality time with good friends!

We celebrated our good friends 83rd birthday on St. Patrick’s day this month; Joanne Zimmerman. We call her Jo Jo and make a big fuss over her every time she shows up to the show! She is such a beaming example of love, joy and light. There have been lots of reasons to celebrate life this month and may it be the same every month of the year! Always! We are so grateful for your on-going love and support on this magical mystery ride! We couldn’t do it without you! Thank you for all your loving encouragement all along the way. We feel your love and that’s what puts the wind in our sails! You take the best of care and know we carry you in our hearts all along the way! Love Nicc and Mo

A note from Nicc:

Hey friends, of course I have to have a “word” in here ha ha! I wanted to tell you a little bit about your new Mp3 download. I am delighted to share that this instrumental is a one take wonder! An ad-lib musing on my new guitar I got last November.

For those curious, this tune is in DAGF#AD…or as I like to call it “dagfad”. What that means is I change the tuning from a standard (EADGBE) to DAGF#AD and it gives the sound a nice low end ring. It’s very mysterious and dreamy. This whole tune was stream of consciousness “writing”. Basically me sitting down with my phone, hitting record and “dropping in” to something… and it all came out. I thought about the title for this instrumental, and I’m going to call it “Grace”. Can’t we all use a bit of grace?

I am elated that it was executed pretty spot on with only a few minor imperfections…this has TAKEN ME YEARS to reach this level of playing!!! OMG! I almost can’t believe that this is ME playing! Truly! I’m just so honored to have and share this talent with you! I have listened to Windham Hill records and greats like Will Ackerman, Chet Atkins, Ed Gerhard, Trace Bundy…these phenomenal guitar players are so inspiring! I have ALWAYS wanted to sound like them!

You will note tapping techniques which are extremely hard to execute, slides and hammer-ons, one finger and two finger hammer and pull offs…all of this with some harmonics thrown in for good measure. For most of you, that may sound like a lot of “mumbo gumbo” and will explain nothing ha ha! All that really matters is that you enjoy it and dream a little with me as I tapped into that “something” from Spirit! May it give you space for YOUR grace to come through and tap into whatever that “something” is for you!!!

I hope you enjoy it, as some things simply can’t be expressed in WORDS! Music describes what words cannot!

Much love to you all!

Nicci

Bring On the Good!!!

Spring is on its way and we are ready to “bring on the GOOD!”  We are less than a week away from our big Sapphire Room production March 5th at the Riverside Hotel.  We are super excited to share the stage with our friends Meghan Kelly Watters and Debbie Sager!  We are also really looking forward to the beautiful audience that always pumps the “purpose” back into our hearts during these shows.  It always amazes me that people show up, purchase tickets and continue to be moved and show such love and support.  I am ALWAYS humbled and honored to play for such a beautiful audience. 

I have been reflecting on all the times we’ve played in the Sapphire Room.  I think we are going on about 9 years now of yearly and sometimes bi-yearly performances in that special room.  It’s a stage we can call “home” and the audience that participates is like “family”.  

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I try, much like with these blogs…to think of a theme for the show.  I’ve done, “Sing into spring” and other various event titles.  This year I was thinking, with all the heavy energy we have been through with Covid and the state of the country/world/politics etc… aren’t we all “trying to find the good?”  So, in light of that thought, I themed this blog AND the Sapphire show – “Bring on the Good”.  

We all need a little “pep” in our step, a little love in our hearts and joy in our days.  We have all been through a lot in the last few years personally and collectively.  Everyone I speak with, I see in their eyes the reality of time moving fast and a sense of urgency to live to the fullest and walk a truer, deeper, more meaningful path.  Utilizing our days, time, hours wisely and cherishing what we DO have; has been the echo I have heard over and over again from my own spirit and from friends and strangers reflecting this back to me.  

So in light of this “theme”, I thought of another idea a few weeks ago.  A bold, and maybe stupid or crazy idea ha!  It just goes to show you that I am a person that keeps pressing a bit out of my comfort zone.  I don’t quite know what that is all about, I suppose I resist being complacent?!  But here is my maybe “not so brilliant” brilliant idea!  Ha!  What if I could write a song called “Bringing on the Good” or “Looking for the Good” or something with this theme and PLAY it the night of the show!  Better yet, what if I open the show with this thought, this plan, this vulnerability??? 

“Oh holy hell Nicc?!  Are you kidding me with this challenge???”  But instead of rejecting it and taking the safe way with a song I’ve known for years, I’m leaning in.  Lean in to what scares the shit out of you? Right?  

So…here we go!  Needless to say, just Saturday (2/26) I sat down and penned out the song I think I will play.  “Bring on the Good”.  Now, it’s super new, still wet behind the ears, it’s vulnerable, it’s lovely, it says what I need it to say…hopefully it will set the tone of the show.  Hopefully it will make us all “friends” right away.  I can fuck up, or cry or stammer, or willingly try…I will play the song, and then introduce everyone personally to the stage.  

And then, after that…the whole show will be a piece of cake - ha! So I think!  The first song, all alone, brand new and vulnerable…it will set a tone and my heart will indeed be thumpity thump thump…but I’m getting use to being scared out of my mind! It comes with the territory of “show biz”.  

Falling in love with the feeling of NOT being in control really MEANS we are trusting the Universe.  And I think this is why I do what I do.  This is why I press myself and I’ve never been disappointed when I know Spirit has me.  So I am manifesting an open hearted audience that will take note that they are witnessing something special and hopefully I do justice to the song I’ve written and some hearts will be touched.  But who knows…it could very well flop and then I’m on to “Missed the Mark”!  ha ha ha!!! What do I have to lose, right??? 

Anyway sweet people, I hope you enjoy this new song!  Below you will find the words and the tune is not even 3 days old…so, it might grow, flex, change a little until it really settles on what wants to come through.  

What GOOD you are looking for…or already have in your life?  What “Good” can you hold on to?  In the small subtle ways, the every days, the in between spaces of your life, what invisible thread carries you to a place of harmony or balance.  Where or who do you find rest?  How does Spirit show up for you and “pull you through” those moments of clarity?  

“Bring on the Good” 

 by niccole blaze

Whiskey by the fire side

Moon beams and stars in your eyes

Heart flaming in midsummer July

And ponderosa pines 

We steady ourselves in what we believe

All the while the wind blows through the trees

Calling us to the love that we may need

To make us whole again…

Love breaks us open

No words need be spoken

We’ve done all we could

Still looking for the good

Trying to find the good

Sometimes love is NOT as it should

But we’re bringing on the Good

Breaking all the rules

Temptation and the risk to be the fool

Giving up on evberything we knew

To walk a truer path

And there’s been hard times

And greateful hearts

And there’s been loses

That tear your heart apart

Ane the world keeps spinning

Ya just don’t know how it could

Meanwhile we gather…looking for the good! 

Trying to find the good

Sometimes this world is not as it should but we keep bringing on the Good!

The “Love” month

Hello Friends,

Well here we come to the “Love” month!  You know, that over rated time we place too much hype on chocolates and fancy dinners?  What is that?  I try my damndest to be that way throughout the year.  Perhaps I fall short but I mean well. 

Relationships are at the center of my heart.  I used to think everyone was wired that way and have realized that this is not necessarily true.  Humans need connection, but some humans deny themselves that connection to safe-guard their hearts.  Fear of getting hurt, longing for something that can never be, or dealing with a person that is no longer with us, either physically or emotionally.  There is a LOT to this human experience and it can be a messy ordeal sometimes. 

Now let’s slap a Valentine’s Day in the mix when it’s the most depressing time of the year and see how all those who are longing navigate the situation.  Yikes! Ha! I hope this makes you chuckle a little, in whatever situation you find yourself, because it is a bit ridiculous what we do and tell ourselves.  

For all of you who are longing, who wish to be seen, fulfilled, embraced and understood…I get you and wish you inner peace and joy.  For those who feel connected to their “person” or “people”, I recommend instead of a fancy dinner or chocolates…maybe drop into a 5 minute meditation in which you muster up all appreciation you have for that person.  All the things they do “right” in your world and who they have been for you on your journey.  

May the cogs of the wheel fold together as you “see” each other in that appreciation, and instead of focusing on the things that may go “wrong” in that relationship, you go beyond to see the goodness of that person.  Eyes are the window to the soul, indeed.  And when you look at that person from the light of appreciation…you will “tell them so”, tell them of the love that is between you both and make it known. THIS is intimacy.  And yes, it’s vulnerable, which seems to be a hot topic these days.  

During my time at the Cambria song writer’s workshop, we spoke much about vulnerability.  Where do GOOD songs come from?  From the heart!  It’s as if it’s part of my job to “go there” and let me tell you that is not always the easiest thing to do!  Who “enjoys” getting vulnerable?  

As a group we listened to some songs that expressed vulnerability.  We broke off into pairs and discussed REAL heart pangs.  We were asked to “go where it hurts”, which you can imagine, can be a real “oh shit” moment.  

I dared myself to write about things that are hard and thought, “What if I wrote a song about LUST?”  No one ever talks about this, and I think during the month of Valentine’s it’s a PERFECT time to bring this new song to our membership page.  

Lust is what, a sin? A forbidden emotion, taboo, especially for couples?  Who gets to write about that?  Talk about it? What is there to say?  Tip toe around the tulips!  LOL!  

Don’t rock the boat with the “lower energy pull” and mess up your life! Ha!  Its classic!  But look how many movies are about it!  Look how much it takes place among people yet it’s the elephant in the room.  Don’t be human; don’t FEEL that dreadful feeling, make sure you mix shame in there so you can still be a moral upstanding person!  Ha! (Men don’t have that “shame game” nearly as women, but sorry guys, that’s a whole other blog!)

Esther Perel wrote that relationships ebb and flow between mystery and knowing, safety and eroticism. She is one of the few therapists that tackle such topics in her book “Mating in Captivity”.  We humans yearn for familiar (knowingness/intimacy) vs. newness (excitement/lust).  We walk a balance if we have a healthy relationship.  One that is not complacent and pays attention to the drifting of attention yet meets this drifting with curiosity instead of judgment.  

I as a song writer challenge myself to find the “heat” of a topic and tell a story.  I observe people and my own inner conversations.  I used to be afraid to write about the taboo. “Slide” and even “Deep” were one of my first explorations of this kind of writing. Back then I thought, “Oh people are going to wonder what the hell I’m going through if I write this song and put it out there.  They might judge me.”  I have learned, if I get caught up in what others might make a song of mine mean, or that it will reflect poorly on myself or us as couple, this will shoot my creativity down in a heart flash!  

I’ve since granted myself the freedom to write about hard things.  Listen to Ed Sheeran’s “Bad Habits”.  Is that about Ed?  Do we know?  A. Who Cares what he does in his personal life? B. It’s none of our business.  If he had to walk the line of moral code and worried about what people would think of him personally, he would have never written that song, which has over 8 million plays on Spotify!  8 MILLION!!!   There is a lot of underbelly to the song.  I lot of mystery, lust, failure, displacement, demise, inertia, craving, addiction and self sabotage going on.  And…it’s a fabulous work of art!  It’s got a great beat, it’s RELATABLE!  

I am not my 20 year old self but I can imagine the drain of trying to get my cup filled in the shallow wells from which he speaks.  Do I make it about him?  No, but he draws on a certain experience and writes from a knowingness of what he witnesses and can feel.

I endeavor to write a song about this taboo “Lust” topic. I roll it around in my head for months.  Hmmm?  Mo and I go to coffee with our lovely friends, Meghan, Lindsay & Deb.  We are discussing musical adventures, “all the places we will go”.  For whatever reason, Lindsay said, “You can’t un-ring that bell…”  There it is! There is the line I’ve been waiting for!  This opened the door!  

And since I’m a lazy songwriter, I ask her to text those words to me.  I’m like, that is a perfect concept!  How many times would you take something back?  Something you might have said or done?  You can’t un-ring the bell!  

Mo jots this down when we get home and puts it where she knows I will see it.  She doesn’t know where I am going to head with it and frankly, neither do I, but I liked the “sound” of that phrase.  

The next morning, I read it, have my coffee, enjoy the silence of our mornings with Mo still sleeping and out pops this song!  It’s a challenge to sing the ending but it feels right up there with a “Come to My Window” feeling, “All I know so Far”,  “Black Velvet”.  It feels like it could definitely fit into a commercial sound, given the right producer.  I hear it in my head on the radio.  It has energy, juice, heat; it has the right formula for experiences of the head and heart for which only music can name the emotions.  I love it!  

No, we aren’t 20 anymore but like any good dog, we like to feel the wind on our faces hanging out the window and that’s what attraction does.  Makes us feel alive inside, valued, worthy, these things for which Esther speaks. Many people (couples especially) can get complacent.  They get into a routine and there is definitely something delicious about the routine; contentment, safety of a partner…but there is also validation to the side that speaks of newness and excitement, absolutely! How to keep it fresh is the journey of being IN relationships, even with the self.  Finding inner love for the self, not needing someone to fill you up, these are things of maturity and wisdom. No easy accomplishment!    

So enjoy the song! Make it about whatever speaks to you.  How do you find your balance?  What are your human needs that might or might not be swept under the carpet?  Where are your taboo topics with self and in your relationships and how can they be spoken with validation and love vs. judgment and anger or fear?  

It’s been a journey to write a song like this.  Even during a zoom writers meeting, John Smith, my mentor at the workshop said in his little, almost Irish accent, “Ahh…Nicci! You DID IT!  You tackled a very difficult topic!  Good job!”  

It’s right up there with Slide in my book.  That song can still sometimes make me sweat! LOL!  Hey, if you aren’t on the edge you’re taking up too much space right?  Beware of falling off the edge though! Big Laugh!  You want to feel alive but you don’t want to “kill yourself” in the process!  

Also, another side note…I have achieved my goal of bringing the electric guitar to some of our shows recently.  I am hoping to add live movie footage for those with the tier movie membership; you can see our first debut with electric guitar!  It’s a bit pixilated (not the best picture) but you’ll get the idea.  Thank you Kathy for filming!!! 

Electric guitar brings out a whole new “animal” and vulnerability in me.  I have to say, I fall in love with electric guitar every time I play.  It takes me someplace and I’m looking forward to my relationship with electric growing into a wonderful place.  “Franny Fender” and I are playing the “Lust Game!”  Ha ha! And it’s new, and exciting and very fun!  

Last question, “life is short…love is long” what makes YOU feel alive!  Go finish your own song!  

Much love!!!  

Nicci

We played this live in the studio with Meghan, a very LIVE recording. 

The Lust Game

Uneasy chatter - in my mind

I know you baby and your one of a kind

We’ve been together for a long long time

There’s a magic happening in the air, maybe you think, I’m not aware…

 A loneliness is pulling you I can tell

But baby remember – YOU CAN’T UN-RING THAT BELL!

Ch:

No you can’t, no you can’t un-ring that bell

Cause once it happens you unleash that spell

Riding so hard on your crazy train

Ohhhhh…you’re playing the LUST game!!!

You see a pretty girl walking your way

She’s got all the right moves and knows what to say

I hear your heart thumping, out of your chest

Baby don’t you do something you’ll regret!

No you can’t no you can’t un-ring that bell

Tell you longing heart, not to swell

Riding so hard on your crazy train

Ohhhh- your playing the Lust game 

I know ya honey, wanna feel alive

Like a hot rod mama gonna shift in drive!

I gotta a bad feeling baby deep down inside

Have you stroked that rope and pushed me aside?

No you can’t no you can’t un-ring that bell

Tell you longing heart, not to swell

Riding so hard on your crazy train

Ohhhh- your playing the Lust game 

Bridge:

Come on home to me! 

I don’t wanna beg but baby please

Find a way to bring it home again 

Cause you KNOW this trip could have a bitter end

No you can’t no you can’t un-ring that bell

Tell you longing heart, not to swell

Riding so hard on your crazy train

Ohhhh- your playing the Lust game    

(Still deciding the outro of this song) 

Outro: 

the lust game can only bring you pain

the lust game’s not worth the shame

the lust game -  We’ll never be the same – riding around on this crazy train!!!

Chorus

 (Call and response harmony here – “Can’t un-ring that bell” – “playing the lust game” (repeat)

Happy New Year Friends!

And so it begins!  2022! What a journey the last 2-3 years have been for us all!  We discovered what an actual “collective” problem, a WORLD problem, is for the first time ever really!  Our planet has indeed shrunk 5 sizes as our population has expanded. 

Back in the ’80 we didn’t think days like Covid would happen in “our generation”.  We thought (or I thought) the “end of days” won’t happen in our time.  Movies like the Matrix, Break Out, Legend…they were all just movies.  We had NO idea that our government really IS the “House of Cards” with Kevin Spacey being a manipulative idiot!  

I know some of your hearts are broken as we’ve seen certain demise from the people “in power”.  I know many of you, like us…brace yourself of another year of the “shit show”.  And although I’m on a roll with some deep heavy blogging the last few months, I simply MUST connect and speak of these things when I sit down to write.  

All of us are, will be, and have been affected.  On some level, we can turn off the news, refuse to talk politics, and refuse to “get into it” with family or friends…but there has been some deep heart pain in our human collective.  Ripples that are happening that we have NO idea what the Tsunami will look like after the rise, but I feel that we all have an inner knowing that the tipping point is close at hand.  

So…what do we do?  How do we look at life? What picks us up again?  Well, not trying to toot my own horn, but…MUSIC!  Music picks us up again (or can drown you in a bucket of tears depending on what song you listen to, put the whiskey bottle down!).  But staying positive, listening to positive music and taking in nature and being with those you connect with…these are what get us through our darker days.  

Yes, Covid is on the rise again.  We’ve suffered a topsy-turvy career of cancellations and the restaurant businesses shaky ground.  One thing that stands out, people want and need and hold onto their music.  I’m letting myself have that one.  I’m proud of our plight in this journey.  

I swear if the ship is going down…I will be the one on the Titanic playing until the damn thing capsizes.  It’s just what I’ve come to do and I know it.  I’m not getting rich, I’m getting by…but I feel blessed and rich in Spirit.  

I draw on the knowingness that there is indeed a “grand plan” in all things.  The Universe is innately good, even when people choose not to be.  

There are a million things wrong with the world…over a million things, yet; here we all are.  How do we celebrate who we are, what we have, what we represent out in the world?   How do we lift? Give? Shift? Connect? Teach kindness?  At the end of it all…don’t you think that will be the thing we remember most?  

People we’ve touched?  Who have touched us? Who made us laugh, or cry tears of love?  Our animals that have comforted us or how we’ve comforted them?  Strangers, coming together for a common good?  

There is something beautiful in it all…even the tragedy of it. Reminds me of another Kevin Spacey movie, “American Beauty”, quite poetic!  

Reminds me of “Life is Beautiful”, we DO keep “getting the chances to ‘over-come’,” and yep…sometimes it’s a bitch! 

But I’ve been sitting and watching and feeling every little feeling with myself.  I’ve sat quietly (and sometimes NOT so quietly), and heard my inner voice.  “Appreciate Every Day!”  Even when it’s hard it’s good!  

I have been in such gratitude for each of you also!  Weather you know it or not, and especially this winter, your love, kindness, generosity, support has helped tremendously!  

I am devoted to be a better movie maker this next year.  Ugh!  I just can suck at that spoke of the wheel.  It’s a time thing, but I’m going to do my best.  We can resolute so many things on a brand new calendar.  I remember one year I declared I didn’t want to have ANY goals!  Ha! My goal was having NO GOAL!  I think I pretty much enjoyed myself that year.  I still got things done, but I didn’t pressure myself so much.  

I wish that for you all!  Life is hard enough without making it harder.  I think we are all learning to “put the club down” we occasionally “beat ourselves” with and honor the moment, what feels right, what is integral to ALL aspects of ourselves and consider others in those decision makings.  

I will never give up on the goodness of human kind.  I am a fierce relentless, passionate, underdog, artist!  I believe in the power of love and goodness with all my heart.  I think making a difference for others is part of a value system so entrenched in me, there is no other way for me to be. Yet, let it not be at a cost to ourselves, right?  Is wiser me perhaps, still “building a better boat”?  How to stay in the “sweet spot” and do enough without feeling you need to “do more, be more, have more”.  

So in 2022, I wish for you all, true balance.  Balance of the mind, heart, goals, dreams, aspirations and health!  Whatever your new year’s resolution is, may it be from the heart, and may your yearning be quenched!  

Now, I’m putting a new song out there.  Haven’t really played it out to folks, only in small private gatherings, but for you, my sweet people, I hope you delight in this!  Basically, without “over telling” any meaning to you and allowing you to “get” from the song what you will, I invite you to listen with an open heart.  Sometimes it’s the nature of the “bird” to sing the same old song, and sometimes that song breaths joy into us, and sometimes it breaks our hearts.  This is merely an observation and in some tricky way, like a song always can when you stare at it too long, it can turn into a reflection.  And when that happens, it truly kicks your ass!  My inner song-writer fairy likes to do this to me – so crazy the lessons we learn from our deeper selves!  

Be safe out there, celebrate your NOW time!  Go see, listen, be with someone who inspires you!  And thank YOU all for giving me a platform to try and do those things!  We love you all! 

Nicc, Mo & and Juno (Juney Bug, Bucket of June!)  

Little Bird

By Niccole Blaze  (10-05-21)

V: C, Em, G, C

C: Dm, C, G, C

B: Dm, Am, Em, F#

Oh the south winds are calling

Rising up like a storm

She might make a mess of things

Leave your beautiful heart torn

I don’t care about the weather

Or the state that she’s in

I tell ya this my friend

She’ll be leaving again

She’s gonna fly fly fly

That little bird

She’s gonna catch that wind

And be gone again

She’s gonna fly fly fly

And spread her wings

Don’t let her take your heart

No matter what song she sings

Have yourself some fun

But don’t fall under her spell

When she flies away 

Don’t let it hurt like HELL 

She’s got another bird

Down in her southern nest

She’s going to split her mind

And put her love to the test

She’s gonna fly fly fly

That little bird

She’s gonna catch that wind

And be gone again

She’s gonna fly fly fly

 spread her wings

Don’t let her take your heart

No matter what song she sings

I know there’s a yearning in your heart

I know the learning will play its part

Leaving it up to you to be strong

She’s gonna sing the same old song!

She’s gonna fly fly fly

That little bird

Yeah if she’s got you

It’s more than she deserves

She’s gonna fly fly fly

And spread her wings

Don’t let her take your heart

No matter what song she sings  (Ch X2)

(Altro: )Don’t let her hurt your heart

No matter what song she sings

Don’t let her tear you apart

No matter what song she sings! 

Blazing Blaze!!!

Hello Sweet Friends!

That month went WAYYYY quick! Probably due to the fact that we took a few weeks off and did some traveling. Our last blog was about our trip to Cambria CA, and the big thing this month was having some solo time for each of us and my journey down to Green Valley Arizona. 

I have a sweet friend Rhea, who moved down there last year this time. She is in her 70’s and has been quite a “life-mentor” for me throughout my years. She has been having some health issues and I really wanted to catch up with her and spend some quality time. She is very into the Buddhist philosophy so we did quite a bit of meditation. I was honored to sit in, what I call “Rhea’s Star Ship”, and have all sorts of journeys in my mind! Wow! What a trip! I not only went to Arizona, I experienced some really cool Zen place of the mind! It was quite a treat! 

We did a group meditation outside one day. Arizona is BEAUTIFUL this time of year and Green Valley is located about 30 minutes south of Tucson. This is a 55 and older town, so I was the youngest of everyone in the group.  Something about being in a group of older folks who have all this wisdom and a life mostly behind them and are practicing being in the moment, was super powerful! 

We did a guided meditation for the first 15 minutes and then the next 45 was “quiet”, but it really wasn’t quiet. It was fantastic! First, the lawn mowers, and grass blowers and everything in the WORLD made noise. I found myself going up up up beyond the noise. I was thankful in that moment that I have a bit of a hearing disability and I quieted my thoughts and mind and made space for the noise to simply be there. 

After about 15 minutes of this, I noted that the motor noise drifted away and the BIRDS took over! This was quite fascinating for me as I don’t really get the privilege of HEARING many birds. So with my eyes shut, I’m out in “space” rising ABOVE my thoughts and listening to these beautiful birds singing their songs. Of course my mind would come back from time to time saying, “Wow, I hear that? How close are they?”. They felt like they were INSIDE the circle! The Ravens were calling, having quite a conversation, back and forth, back and forth and it was so cool! There were 2-3 times I SWEAR the raven flew right through our circle! I could actually HEAR its wings! I’ve NEVER heard that before! Maybe with a flock of geese flying super low but I have never heard a single birds wings flap. I don’t know if it was the meditation drawing my senses out further or what, but it was MAGICAL! 

And of course all the others in the group heard it as well and smiles beamed when we all opened our eyes! My trip was an introspective one. A lot of inside travel for me and a chance to “get to know myself” even deeper. This was rare for me. Mo and I are rarely apart. We spend 24/7 together and the cool part is, we like each other enough to do that! Ha ha! But there is something super special about having our own time away from “our person” to reflect on our own self. I am absolutely the WORST at this! Ha ha! I find I “outsource” myself, my energy, my time, my attention to others almost constantly! I have been really looking at this because, I KNOW it’s a factor that can take me away from creating a song and musing along. 

When I go back in time, I note my most loneliest and alone moments in my life produced the most writing. Now, I have many irons in the fire constantly! Lots of booking, admin., practice, shows, streams, logistics, correspondence, music biz stuff…then household stuff, dog, relationships, self-care, work-out, etc. how does “song-writing” become the LAST thing I put my attention to instead of the FIRST thing? So, you can see the inner struggle and my annoyance with myself LOL! I have been quite the PRO at just observing these days! Just WATCHING myself, my choices, the “gravity” of what I am typically drawn to. 

First one must SEE before they can SHIFT! Right? So this winter I’ve made it a practice to NOTICE what and WHY I do the things I do. What am I getting out of each thing I’m doing? What propels me to do that thing? What is my CRAVE? What is my YEARNING? What is YOURS? Have you ever thought about this? I wish I could hear your answers and do feel free to message me if you ever have reactions to my blogs! I absolutely LOVE hearing from you! 

So…there is an “inner BLAZE” going on…ha! And I mean this on MANY levels. There is a fire lit in my heart for one, noticing all the love in my life and this inner journey. And then….there are hot flashes! Oh God, here I go! And I’m not saying that older women in my life have betrayed me! Big Laugh! But what in the absolute fuck?! And men who read this, my apologies but maybe you will find it interesting or at lease amusing. I had NO DAMN IDEA how much menopause would affect me! And plainly…it SUCKS! I am struggling for acceptance of it! I’ve noted NO ONE freaking TALKS about it! So how in the HELL am I supposed to KNOW anything of this crazy stage I’m in! 

We women keep this under wraps and it is an inner HELL for me right now! First of all, I’m sure my brain chemistry is having its field day! I am fortunate I still feel pretty positive, despite the BLOATING and weight gain. I do smell the “cigar smoke” of inner depression however. (I love the way Elizabeth Gilbert draws out in her book Eat Pray Love, the characteristics of depression and loneliness, making the emotions an actual human persona. Depression smokes a cigar so I’m stealing it from her - no plagiarism here…it’s a private page ha ha! Credits go to Gilbert!) 

Those who are in my inner circle have kindly listened to my rant about such things. I am beginning to embrace it, it’s been about a month now and it hits you…I guess near as I can think, like puberty but the other way around! Ha ha!  And I know this is TMI (too much information) but fuck it, I say…it’s some REAL SHIT!  Why DON’T we share about these things?  What is so “personal” about it anyway?  It happens to ALL of us! It’s not like we can control it.  So your body heats up at random times, you feel like you are exploding from inside out! There is a realization that mother-hood is COMPLETELY off the table, and of course, that was my choice and I’m ok with that- but the body is now telling you it’s REALLY not an option.  It’s just such a weird feeling and a reflective time!  How would a child have FIT into our lives?  What kind of mothers “would” we have been?  That chapter is over, unless I wanted to adopt at 54 and that would be crazy for us.  And then ladies, let’s talk about the damn body dismorphia! Holy cow!  It is such a strange feeling to feel “beasty”…you know, like you are NOT going to fit into your FAT pants!  But…you do!  You feel ONE way and you LOOK another!  I’m probably in the best shape of my adult life right now, stronger and leaner than I have ever been, but I feel puffed up – like a puffer fish! What the HELL?! 

A part of it makes me see how hard women are on themselves.  How much emphasis is put on how a woman LOOKS and not the attributes of her soul/spirit.  What a ridiculous lower level world we can live in!?  Nobody cares or pays attention to your Buddha gut more than you – ha!  It’s a trip.  I can completely accept someone else’s belly, arm fat, cellulite and what have you…what about my own?  And WHY are we “built” this way.  Of course in my feminism I blame the American culture and the objectification of women that has been blasted at us all our lives.  

I was ALWAYS that “different” body growing up.  Stout and strong, low to the ground (ha ha…a true “gather” neantdrathal LOL!)  There were never any commercials featuring women that were athletic or buff.  All tall and anorexic; what gives with that shit?  I have a funny, self-deprecating “model” story I will share with you if you are interested sometime – absolutely mortifying yet hilarious, about how I was called in for a bikini shoot on the beaches of NJ back when I was in my early 20’s.  Ahhh gad! Quite a humiliating story but I digress.  

I find it refreshing that my niece is a National Power Lifter and can be proud of that title!  I am wicked proud of her!  Her legs are probably 28” inches around and SOLID muscle and she is beautiful!  Hallelujah that the younger generation is redefining beauty.  But here we are in OUR generation with all this BS.  How do we age gracefully?  And we as so-called “Rock-stars” ha ha…we feel it.  How to feel and stay “sexy” as we grow into our older years?  And why? What the hell is the point?  The point is, we know this world is a bit un-evolved.  It doesn’t look at the Spirit of a person; it looks at the outside cover and you could lose or win a gig based on that first appearance. That is a sad truth of the matter.  So…as I age, I work my ass off to “fit the bill” so to speak.  It’s not just about that for me.  I’ve always been athletic and I enjoy a good workout because it reduces my stress and gives me the illusion that I have some control.  But as a woman, when you are working your ass off and eating as healthy as you can maintain, to see the scale dip upward beyond your control, it is the most defeated feeling.  

I have quipped the “bloat” with some Chinese herbs and essential oils and I am coming into some homeostasis, but wowsa what a journey.  I have also noted that this is a point in a woman’s life where emotionally she asks the question she’s never been allowed to ask (at least in my case) “What about me?”  You know, that question is “illegal” for women! Men get to have that question when they come out of the womb, but women are made to feel shame when they ask that question.  To think of yourself is a “selfish” thing!  Wow!  How in the hell…who set that up?  These awarenesses are priceless and they are happening more and more as I turn inward and observe and grow.  

I have recently been listening to a pod-cast I would love to share with you, particularly the ladies although evolved men could find it interesting.  It’s called, “We Can Do Hard Things” hosted by Glennon Doyle.  I love the topics they cover and the thoughtful ways these ladies discuss these topics.  Check it out if you would like.  I listen to that during my workouts so I get a brain training AND a body workout.  I have found this year, it has been a challenge to make a space just for myself and hour a day somehow.  I know that seems crazy because it looks like Mo and I “have the life” on the outside.  Like all we do is sit back until the next show ha! But it takes the entire week of all the in betweening to put on such a show and deliver the energy.  It’s like serving up a Thanksgiving dinner, there is a lot of preparation that goes into it!  Ya know, and sometimes we cook the damn bird too long and it winds up dry.  We don’t get it right every show but we strive for that.  

I would also like you to know, I have another song in the can that I just wrote recently…so I have 2 for you!  However that being said, I’m sitting on them for a bit longer.  I don’t know why exactly, but that is my feeling.  I like my “little birds” to be with me for a bit.  I get to feed them and make them stronger and put music to them better and then let them fly.  They fly out there to land in the consciousness of others, then they take up space in others minds and become “themselves” and they aren’t really “mine” anymore.  The relationship with my songs become different when they are introduced to others and not kept to myself.  There is a loss and a gain to it all and since I’ve slowed down and am learning to love myself, I’m keeping them for just a bit longer.  I’m enjoying them and relishing in what they have to teach me.  That’s it really.  It’s not to keep them from you but it’s to help me get what I need from them before they go “live” out into the world.  I enjoy that feeling of anticipation and excitement about a new song.  I’m not ready for the bubble to be popped by someone’s opinion of the song.  I hope that makes sense.  

My website link to add new VIP blogs has been breaking down and giving me grief too.  Squarespace has of course upgraded so with that, everything is sideways and harder to post, so things are taking longer and have been more difficult.  I’m thankful for your patience on the content.  Mo and I scanned all the songs we have posted and discovered that we indeed did NOT have “Girl Crush” on the VIP!  How in the hell did we miss this?  I think I banked it and produced it and THOUGHT I posted it, but had not…sooo….enjoy our version of Little BigTown’s “Girl Crush”.  Merry Christmas Dede!!!  I adore this song and love that Mo takes the lead on it!  I love the spin we do with driving the song in a passionate way!  I hope you enjoy! 

We hope you have a beautiful holiday season full of love and light and positivity.  I know there are many things to be in the trenches of life, but I hope you place those things to the side and focus on what brings you joy this season.  I know I share some uncomfortable topics perhaps for some of you, but I also hope you can appreciate the vulnerability for which they are shared.  Thank you for embarking in our journey and for participating in this personal reflection and inner look of “Blaze and Kelly”; mainly “Blaze” right now, ha ha!  All fired up!  LOL!  

Be well friends and thank you for all you contribute to our journey!  

Niccole (Mo & Juno)

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Open the "Gate"!

Hello Friends!

We arrived back from our trip to Cambria CA this week and what a trip it was!  I attended a song-writers workshop with John Smith’s Tribe and it did NOT disappoint.  Mo and our dear friend Trudy came down to take in the sights, the food, the ocean and help me have a good time! 

 I was in the workshop everyday from 10am-12pm, 4pm-6pm, and sometimes an evening class or jam.  I was pleased with the content of the workshop and the people in the workshop were amazing.  Each one was brilliant and unique as a song-writer.  So many different styles and personalities, it felt like a small sub-family in a way. 

 We had traveled with about 7 of these folks to Ireland in 2019, and we knew a few more from a workshop we attended back in 2009.  It was a coming together, a sharing on a most vulnerable level and a joining of brother-sister hood.  JUST what the “doctor” ordered for me. 

 The first exercise out the gate was writing about your pain.  We spent some time getting our “grievances” written down on paper after listening to an Andy Grammar song, “I wish you pain”.  “Holy Jesus, what a way to start a workshop”, I thought.  As I wrote out my sorrows I thought, “no way will I have to share this”.  I mean, I was a teacher for years and always had the kids keep a journal and write things down, but NEVER expected them to share their writings.  It was a teaching tool as an outlet and it sure beat them punching the lockers and breaking their hands. 

 So we had about 15 minutes of a free write and I spilled out my frustrations, my angers, my fears, my surrenders and it felt good to put down on paper just where I was at.  This part is nothing new to me.  I spend quite a bit of time just free writing.  Normally I am on my computer airing all my dirty laundry onto a document and as I write something typically happens.  I get clearer.  I am uninhibited by another person’s presence or judgments of my words.   I can speak freely and watch the letters form.  I can type faster than I can write AND one could actually READ it!  My handwriting has become like hieroglyphics!  In some ways that is good, if I have a private song, I am the only one that can “de-code” it!  Ha ha!! 

 So I am galloping along, scribbling my life’s hardships down on my yellow legal pad and thinking nothing of it, as I’m CERTAIN this is for our own process.  The group stops writing and then Julie, John’s right-hand gal who always helps John facilitate these things, talks about vulnerability.  She refers to some sayings and a book that Brene’ Brown had written called, “The Power of Vulnerability”.  I was listening, and I have read about 3 of Brene’s books and I THINK I am ok with vulnerability.  I think I lean IN instead of leaning OUT.  I pride myself on doing shit that makes me absolutely uncomfortable. I stretch myself further and I’ve realized just how flexible I can be throughout my years, both physically and mentally. 

 I’ve put a LOT of work into being the person I’ve become, and I don’t say that lightly.  It hasn’t been an easy thing.  There has been no “blade of grass” I have not analyzed in my mind, or have processed.  All my childhood shit has been usurped and looked at, analyzed and put back together again.  I have literally had chapters in my life that have felt like a raw nerve exposed.  Embracing shame, pain, rejection, unrequited love, familial pain, abuses, insubordination, anger, anger, anger (I say that 3 times because anger is my “go to” emotion ha!!!  The ugly one that gets me on a New Jersey rant and the one I’ve learned how to laugh at because most of my anger is absolutely ridiculous!) So Julie started talking about sharing our writing and I felt myself get hot.  I’m like, “Oh shit, really? I don’t know these people like that!”  My body was on red alert.  Kind of like having a hot flash but it’s all self induced stress. 

My agreement to myself before I entered this workshop was to “go for broke”.  Anytime I wanted to “lean out” I “leaned in”! Fuck!  I did NOT want to share my vulnerable sweaty underwear with this group! Even though every one of them is a sweet soul, I sat there and sweat more!

 Julie started to count us off.  I am so familiar with this because I did this as a PE teacher.  1, gets to me and calls me “2”, 3,4,5,6  (there are about 12 of us in the workshop not including the instructors).  My attention is razor sharp as I know where this is going.  “Who’s going to be my partner?”, I’m thinking. 

 “1 *2*!!! 3 4”,  Al!!! I have Al Hass as a partner!  I knew this seconds before the group and AL. All the years of dividing kids up to play a game, the kids would try to organize themselves so they could calculate their champion soccer or flag football team.  But I always saw through the jocks and would fuck them up by counting in 3’s or something that would throw them off.  LOL! 

 So AL looks at me from across the circle and smiles wide.  A huge sigh of relief goes through me.  “Ahhhh…I love AL!  I am safe!” He was a perfect partner and we bonded and had so much of the same shit riding on our shoulders.  I could not have picked a better person to partner up with and he and I got closer and kept tabs on each other throughout the rest of the workshop. 

 Don’t get me wrong.  My life is good!  I feel so privileged to get a go with this music career and have the relationships that I do.  But…we ALL have our demons.  The things we ruminate over or the things that are just unsettling or not quite processed.  And I slid into the “gate” with this vulnerability.  Turning another year older, working this music thing through Covid when people are treating each other terrible, seeing my own physicality get older, realizing I have only so much time to do this, pressing my mind to expand, musically, physically, emotionally etc.  It’s been a journey. 

 The core of this is…it takes a lot of heart churning to bring you the songs that I do!  I don’t have the liberty to sit back and live a life that is only surface.  That was never mine to do! 

 If you read these words, you know…I’m a bit intense.  That can make some uncomfortable.  I kick up other people’s vulnerability by being who I am, but I also give people the absolute FREEDOM to be exactly WHO they are!  But all this comes to say…songs SUCK if they don’t have anything REAL to them!  If they are just a “boop-boop a doo”!  I’m not interested!  The song loses me, I’m not grasped or led to expand, I’m just singing along. Slap stick music can still be entertaining and valid, but I’m not moved.  

 Now obviously there are those lighter tunes that I love, Diggy Dog, 5 star dive-bar, Fat Pants;  I love writing those goofy songs too!  I have a lot of humor and observations.  But to write a song that compels me…to really put my heart out there…I LEAN IN instead of taking the easy way and leaning out…life’s too fucking short! 

Say something worthwhile!  You’ve got the mic, you’ve earned the stage.  Sing a song that MOVES me! Right?  Sometimes believe it or not, depending on the day, the state of mind, HORMONES (ugh God!)…we entertainers can feel completely at a loss.  The magic or the muse may not be firing on all cylinders.  Mo and I are lucky that we can “ping” off each other, especially if the crowd is dead, which is unusual for us. 

 I am lucky to have a partner that knows my mind, how I think, my insecurities and I know hers and can read her face quite well.  We are there to say, “it’s ok to step out!”  and we do this all the time for each other. 

If you were on the spot, center stage…or let’s just say it’s Thanksgiving dinner time and YOU get to make the toast.  Let’s just say the words are not coming to you, you try to say something funny and your people just look at you with a blank stare, clearly NOT picking up what you are putting down.  It can be horrifying!  Not so much in a dinner setting like that, but in a setting full of strangers and fans, it can be a real “oh shit” moment. 

 We LIVE our lives this way.  We take for granted the koospa it takes to even get up on stage and put a guitar around our necks and step up to a contraption that is going to make your voice the loudest of anyone’s in the room!  How fucking frightening!  Every day, each show… oh my!

 Now let’s open your journal, let’s take the very thing you were so scared to share with ANYONE…let’s put it in a song and then get up on stage with a microphone in your face and a piece of wood with strings that you’ve somehow learned to strum in time…and let’s sing to friends, fans and strangers your very deepest fears, hurts, wounds and injuries so that everyone ELSE can feel human!  WTF!?  Crazy right?  Every day…every show…

 Now you know why cover songs can be a real treat for us because we are NOT attached to the initial emotion of the song!  Those all original shows can be a challenge.  But…one I am up for! 

 It’s worth it to me to expose my thoughts and feelings and do it through music.  It’s worth it because I see it show up on people’s faces when they connect with a song.   I see their energy, how it shifts, how we temporarily feel like a “sub-family” at a B&K show.  We ALL have our stories and we all just went for a ride on this tune and songs have a way of meeting you right where you are and spilling your heart out when words don’t fit.  It’s fascinating and I love it! 

 So John Smith’s Tribe is a REAL group of people.  I have a deep respect for each person’s journey.   And in between the classes I was swept away to some of the most amazing places! This was the other side of the trip that I absolutely got my cup filled. 

 We explored Moonstone Beach where the stones were polished by the Sea and looked like jewels.  So mesmerizing and enchanting, we wanted to bag all the little treasures and take them home!  We explored the elephant seals and little town shops!  The girls thought of lovely adventures to do each day and the food!  Oh. My. God!  Such amazing meals were had (which is why I need to add some extra cardio to my workout routine  ha ha ha!  Live a little! Right?) 

 We had a delicious time and enjoyed our moments together.  Staying at the Pine Lodge in Cambria was such a treat as they had a hot tub and heated pool.  We would get up early before class and soak, taking in the humming birds and butterflies that were in migration.  The smells of jasmine in the air and the beautiful trees indigenous to California!  My God I could live there if money were no issue (I would miss our community here in Boise, don’t worry folks).  I love the climate, the ocean air that I was use to from my upbringing in New Jersey, the lightness and adventure of something new each day awakened all my senses and it was magical and dreamy. 

 I am left with many notes to decipher.  A translation of the hieroglyphics, song starts, song concepts, theoretical ideas to move the music, a good shot in the ass to …DO THIS!  I am left inspired, my heart is on fire, much desire - to bring it home and be the best artist I can be.  I am grateful for the chance to do this and for Mo and Trudy for jumping in and making it a great adventure and exploration. 

 I am thankful to have time to reflect, write, and make time for myself.  It’s been so rare to get to do this.  We’ve taken a mini sabbatical from our shows this month.  We have a few at the end of the month but I really wanted to SIT with what I knew I would get out of this workshop.  I really want to investigate the possibilities to reach for the next “rung”.  I feel blessed and honored to walk this special path called, “my life”. 

 You ALL have a special path to walk.  I know inspiration can be hard to find.  Especially in times like these.  Who is lifting you up?  How can you lift YOURSELF up?  How can you “bring it home” – claim your own zest and desire to light your own heart on fire?  What makes your soul sing?  What hits your gas pedal?  What makes you say YES? 

 Just some thought for you as I write this blog.  Feel free to do the first assignment I had and write down all your grievances, demons, deepest fears and anger anger anger, and then….share it – or NOT!  Ha ha!  At least it will be out there and lighten your load! 

 I love all of you!  So much!  And I thank you for passing your eyes upon these words. 

 The download this month will be a favorite song of mine, “Desperado”. I love the story of this song.  I love the melody, the chord progression, the tempo.  It speaks to what I have written here, I hope it speaks to you.  Coming down from our “fences” and opening our “gate”, can be a difficult journey.  But really…what the hell else is there really to DO in this life?  Isn’t that what we came to do? We are so distracted and we get pulled into so many things that aren’t real.  I hope you all find your Queen of Hearts and remember, somebody loves you! 

 Blessings to you all!

Nicci  

 Mo and I at the Elephant Seal Beach

How could I NOT have a great time with these amazing souls???

Sharing a beer with my favorite Trudy!

Trudy is finds herself a rare boat!

Mo's favorite elephant seal

The gang the first night out at a Mexican Restaurant. Left to Right, the lovely Katie (Al’s Wife), the fabulous Al Hass, the talented Lance, the “mightiest” Mo, the dancing Dana, the Johnny Luv and then there is that cartoon character on the right. Heh!

A love sandwich!

Beautiful rocks on Moonstone Beach! Wow! So magnificent!

The whole trip was like a decadent dessert! Which is why I probably need to hit the gym extra the next few weeks! Ha!!! Totally filled my cup!

What are you celebrating?

Well Howdy Folks,

New studio floor!

This is my SECOND attempt at this month’s “Rock-tober” blog.  I had it all ready to go and I threw it in the can.  It was just a fumble.  Well written but I just thought it was too negative. 

I have honestly been spinning a bit recently due to some friends I care about, their pain, heart aches, health issues, mixed in with my own grief from my Dad who passed a year ago this month.  I just didn’t like what we had written when I was editing it.  I didn’t like the song we selected or the performance of that song.  So…we get a “do over”, right?

 Sometimes you just have to do things over again and this is one of those times.  Something about the Earth shifting on its axis with Fall equinox really challenges us with the day light changing and different weather.  My world truly has been a bit “rocked” these days, so I will honor that and give myself some grace.   

 I am happy to say that I have, after all these years, learned to give myself some space and some grace.  It’s only taken me my whole life to figure that out!  Ha!  How about you?  When you are just damn depressed that day, or had a crappy day at work…do you build space for yourself?  Do something nice for yourself?  Throw away the negative self talk “club” or do you perseverate? 

 Fall brings beautiful and glorious, yellows, oranges and reds, and what also comes with it is the inward cycle of reflection.  I most certainly miss my Father indeed!  I most certainly miss the world before Covid!

 But there have been amazing “growth spurts” and things to celebrate. I have a good friend that starts her conversations with me with this question:  “What are you celebrating?”  I love that question! Spins your whole life around to make you look at the good! See what you appreciate!  What are YOU celebrating? 

As we “jam by the fire”!

 I am celebrating a new floor in our studio, and ceiling being completed.  I am celebrating my new battery operated leaf blower (ha ha! True! It’s going to be so much better than dragging that damn cord around! I just bought it today!  Happy birthday to me! LOL!) I am celebrating friends, my love for them, our deep and real conversations.

Morning Coffee with “Jam”!

 I am celebrating this REAL walk I am doing, in relationships, music, and writing.  I am celebrating a very successful season of music and the fact that we have built in some down time this Fall for things that we love;  writing, reflecting, reading, a bit of travel.  I am celebrating that I just wrote a new song TODAY!  Well…it’s almost finished, but I was inspired and moved and I feel like I have my footing on how to go about this season to keep creating.  I am also celebrating going to a song writer’s workshop the end of this month.

Finally squeaking out a song!!!

 I am celebrating Mo and Meghan’s birthdays and for that matter my own trip around the Sun at the end of the month.  I am celebrating this pooch who is resting her head on my foot presently.  I am celebrating getting wiser and not needing to do the things I thought I should to get certain results.  I am celebrating an audience member wanting to bring us to DENMARK next Spring (we’ll see…could come true!) I am celebrating finding a new and better builder for our Van and the possibilities of getting on the road next year!!!

Feeling Alive (Bogus Mt. Sunset)

 I am celebrating love, friendships, opportunity, and new exciting experiences!  I am also celebrating hitting my goal weight and staying on track with my health routines! That’s a biggy!  It’s taken a LONG time to get here!  I am also celebrating every morning with a cup of coffee in our “new studio” – just jamming every morning on electric guitar and I feel like my solos are improving! 

Darwin photo bombs!

 There is a lot to celebrate, if we frame it in that way.  My attempt at my last blog was “missing the mark” of celebration and not what I wished to broad cast. 

Juno are you ready to go to Arizona?

 Bottom line, there is a lot of pain and uncertainty in the world and in our lives.  People are struggling and I am affected by this – it’s just the nature of who I am because I care. 

Sweet Friends Kim & Trudy!

 So I thought I would give you this song…one of my absolute favorite songs.  This may be a cheat because some of you may already have this recording – but I know many of you do not. 

 “Looking Out” by Brandi Carlile with the band at the Sapphire Room! That was a magical night!  This is my sentiments to my friends, Mo and to me:

“I know that darkness pulls on you, but it’s just a part of you. When you’re outside looking in, you belong to someone.  And when you feel like giving in, like it’s the coming of the end, when your heart can break in two…someone loves you!” 

“Darkness” pulling on Robyn!

 Someone loves you!  We do!  Let’s celebrate THAT!!!

 I hope this sets your brain on a “happy train”!  Thank you for tuning in and all your love and support.  Darkness can call on all of us at some point or another.  Never forget how loved you are!  It will make your life right again! 

 Much love!

Niccole and the Mighty Mo plus Juuuunooo!

Let’s keep kicking ass!!!