Hey Friends,
Well April cruised on by and here we are in May! It was cold, until it was HOT! Typical Idaho fashion! My big celebration this month was trimming my apple tree! Ha! It was no easy task! It required me going to buy a tall enough ladder and getting my limbers out and my pruning tools.
I actually LOVE little chores like this because I can see what I’ve done when I look at it after. I think we are wired to want results. Satisfaction comes from SEEING what we’ve done. You plant a garden; the vegetables are the “fruits” of your labor. You mow a yard you can smell and see the lawn as if it has a new hair cut! Instant satisfaction.
Our “job”, if you call it a job…relies solely on our sensing what we’ve done. In many aspects there is NO result unless someone throws a “bone” in the tip jar, an audience stands up to clap, you get the pay check even when you blew that chord or lyrics. There is NO tangibility to our job. This is NOT to say that it’s not satisfying, because it surely IS. It just molds you as a person after 20 years of doing it.
You use all your inner ability to determine how you are doing. It becomes a habit that you don’t even give thought to after a while. You “read a table”. You can see if they are into the music or into people talking at the table. And really, after all this time, we’ve learned to let go of attaching ourselves to what other people’s experience of our music and performance has been.
Sometimes people come up after the show with tears in their eyes, or smiles or congratulatory comments. It can make you feel good for a second, make you feel special or powerful…but really…it isn’t about us, or the song I wrote. It’s about them and how open they are to receive the song, or where they may be at presently. How open is their heart to actually take it in the power of a particular song and what are somethings that are happening in a person interpersonal world. We are privy to this and need not be.
There is no tangibility in our business. Perhaps if I were Taylor Swift and was on the Billboard charts this would be measurable and tangible, or selling millions of records therefore having millions of dollars could be measurable. So, Mo and I have had to team together and be the back board for each other in performance.
We know when we’ve performed to our greatest level and we know when we’ve botched. Often a crowd won’t notice, maybe some close friends would, but we certainly know when a song is rusty, or needs work on a part. Humans and this culture LIKE and CRAVE something tangible. Something to measure and something to actually “hold” in their hand or their minds. I’ve never had the words to describe the feelings of not having that. It’s called TRUST!!!
Trust is a very important element to what we do. We have to “trust” that “it’s” working; the song, the music, the voice, the magic. We FEEL when it is, we feel when and audience is distracted or checked out (mainly on alcohol). We have a knowingness of the mood, the temperament, the energy of a crowd. We read people all the time. It’s been our survival and our success.
You probably don’t know all that goes all into it. That’s what this VIP blog is all about. To enlighten you in the journey of our inner world and what it means to make music from your soul and put it out there for others to listen, judge or whatever they wish to do with it.
That is why I’ve created this page, this blog, this membership. Along with all the intangibility that goes on…people get fascinated by the mystery of music. Hell, I still get fascinated with the mystery of music. Where’s it come from? How do I write a song? How does an idea just pop into my mind like that?
I LOVE this mystery. I can tell you my take on it. My take is I am an observer and FEELER of the world and my own experience. I see others experiences too and have my own assessments and interpretations. That goes into my little brain like a washing machine. The dial gets turned on and the agitator begins to churn these experiences.
When time, grace, space and inspiration come together – boom a spark happens! If I am so inclined to sit the heck down and write about this inspiration, I become the sculptor. Here’s this chunk of “mud”, clay if you will. An idea has stricken me at just the right time. I am in the head space to pen out a song, I have the time, nothing is pulling on me (which is my instant distraction and way out of sitting to face the “clay” – believe me, if I sat and faced EVERY clay, I MIGHT be Taylor Swift, but that’s another story).
I pull out my tools, guitar, paper, pen, recorder…and if I haven’t lost the clay by doing those things, I begin to remove the chunks of “clay” and shape a song that hopefully folks can relate to. I pull on my own heart strings. I go to where it hurts sometimes. I go to funny moments. Then it’s me and God having a wonderful time together! I love the feeling of KNOWING this is gonna be a good one! I love the feeling when I KNOW I’m not going to quit on this one, Spirit has a message and it wants to come through. I open. I FEEL my way along. Just like I have my whole life!
I feel my way a long in everything. It’s a unique life. This culture likes to “be in the know”. They want to expect how much they will make in a weeks wages, we never know. They want to know who they will interface with that day, we never know. They want to know where they are going to find a place to sleep, eat, take a shower…when we are on the road, we don’t always know. They want to know if they are doing a good job or suck, often times…we never really know because we are not living from the audiences experience and must use our own interpretation.
I am use to living among the creation of things as they happen, moment to moment, as it comes. It’s not easy and I can buck against it too as I like to be in the KNOW because it FEELS safe there. But, how many times did I think I KNEW and then things change…? So, I go back to being in the moment with my life and loving what IS instead of what I want to expect. That part is hard indeed. Some days I am better at it than others.
So, I take joy in trimming my apple tree. Getting ready for the summer heat which just about knocked me out on Sat. at the Sandbar. They did NOT supply fans and Meghan and I were in the direct sun. Whew…would have been nice to know, they weren’t going to have fans. Yikes. Sometimes it’s an adventure…other times you are wiped out! You take the good with the bad and keep moving forward trying to uncover the best of who you are moment to moment. That is all anyone can do!
What things are solid for you? What things are intangible? How do you do with those things that are intangible? Do you need more spontaneity? Do you need more plans? Are you the type that can go with the flow or do you like to be in the know? How much do you need control, how much can you let go of control?
These are things to think about and I don’t expect a response, unless you feel the need to. The “teacher” in me always likes to ask questions just to activate people’s minds. These questions I ask myself and they go into my “agitator” and I pop out some songs from there!
Much love and light to you all! Drink your water, wear your sun screen, enjoy your yard work or just go take a bike ride and leave it! You’ll be loved regardless of what you do or don’t do! There is NO-THING you HAVE to do!
Be well!
Nicci
