Sweet Friends,
It is the height of summer! We are on the run. We have shows North in the Sawtooth Mountains this week!! We are in the midst of packing the trailer and trying to get out of here yet I am compelled to write to our most valued supporters! Maybe it’s the self-worthiness stuff catching up with me. You all give from your pockets and hearts, and I need to “accept the good” and believe I deserve it. Even when I haven’t lived up to my own expectations about this VIP program, can I believe we deserve the support? It’s a tough one for me. I do my best and try. And I thank ALL of you for your patience with these recordings and your understanding that we are working our butts off right now, sweating in the heat to bring some magic to the communities we travel.
Some of you might not know that I do body work too. Cranial Sacral, Healing Energy and Body work. I don’t really publicize this as I see a small amount of clients that understand we will be on the road and they can be flexible with me and our schedule. This work is so grounding and healing for me as well. I am a natural extrovert…I love people, but this work lets my introvert come to the fore front. Yes, it’s another arena that causes me to “give energy outwardly” but I MUST center myself in order to do it and I really love the results my clients get from the body work I practice.
Why am I telling you this? I have had MANY more clients with more and more severe needs and my time is limited between that and guitar lessons, and of course we have a new “baby dog”. So, perhaps this is a list of excuses as to why I don’t have a new mp3 for you. LOL!
I have recordings I am almost ready to share. They are covers that you will love…yet I want to make them “radio ready” with my new found recording equipment and I need a whole day to mix and master in my studio and just haven’t found the time. When you get them you WILL enjoy, this is a promise. I do thank you for understanding that we have the throttle pinned back right now. Ha! And there is NO slowing down for a bit. We'll be traveling most of August.
I search for ways to take care of myself honestly. People ask all the time, what do you do to get replenished? And I kinda scratch my head. I’ve been make a concentrated effort to get my exercise in, that also has been challenging. Especially for days like today when we need to get on the road! I am going to take my bike up to the mountains, so that will help. I try to meditate a little each day and just enjoy the heck out of our home, my relationships, and this sweet little doggie. She is so grounding for me. She’s also VERY LOVEY!!!
What can I do when I’m in the thick of the thoroughs? Singing helps and yet it can also be exhausting. I get massages, acupuncture now and then, and take hot baths sometimes after a show. I attend the Center for Spiritual Living too. This is a place I get “fed”. There is “food for the soul” with the words Rev. Jackie Holland shares and I’m ever so grateful for her and all the people that attend the center.
I dream about the day I can read a book without having something ELSE I’m SUPPOSED to be doing! Ha! And yet, getting up to the mountains is a break too. It gets me away from this computer and away from my routine of “check lists”.
So thank you very much for being the supporters that you are and “loving us anyway”! When I get my “panties in a bunch” Mo says, the people on the VIP are all people who love you and don’t want you to stress about them! And then I have to put my perfectionist in check and I thank my partner for reminding me. I am also reading a great book called “The Gifts of Imperfection” –Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are….
So far, it’s a great read. I feel like I could have written it as I agree with much about what she says on vulnerability and shame. There is nothing more vulnerable than standing on a stage and singing a song that is so close to your heart that you feel like you could just burst! Burst in every way; burst into tears, burst into joy, burst in to love and appreciation, burst into humiliation …there are so many emotions that can happen in this body during the performance due to the songs and the feelings music employs, coupled with people in the audience; their emotions and my tendency to be empathic. The energy audiences carry, be it tears, joy or indifference. I feel all of it and sometimes it’s just too much honestly. I need to pull back but I’m not the kind to pull back. My acupuncturist told me I need to take care of myself. When I sing he says, “don’t connect so hard…conserve your energy”. Ha! Like HOW can I do that? That is just not me. So, I have some inner work to do friends. I want to make that connection with all of you, yet I know I must keep some energy for myself so that I can wake up the next morning ha ha ha!
The dilemma! Ha!! What a beautiful dilemma it is! How lucky I am to have such a purpose and such an outlet to give (and also receive!) I wouldn’t trade it. Even when my feet are throbbing and I can’t find sleep because there is an annoying motif playing in my head or my adrenals are jacked due to a very energetic show. Or when we know we have MILES and MILES to drive and my butt hurts just thinking about it! I know there will be smiles to greet once we are there and our own harmonies will send us!
Thank you sweet beautiful people for believing in us and supporting us, even when I falter in getting my agreements met. I love each and every one of you and I know Mo does too!
When we get back (after the 11th) look for a sweet recording of “All that we Let in” by the Indigo Girls. I think it matches perfectly with what I’ve written here. I will post it upon my return after it’s mixed (which is a process that takes some time).
Thank you again and be well!
Niccole
